Yoga Doesn’t Fix Everything, But It Helped Me Remember Who I Am

Stressful days… A family member’s sudden illness. After the initial shock, the phone calls, contacting people, hospital visits—we’re now dealing with the tasks of sorting out the finances and navigating the red tape.

I was feeling very stressed. Anxiety was setting in. Busy head. Cannot focus. Cannot feel the beauty of the beautiful summer’s day.

I needed yoga. I needed meditation. I needed to fully immerse myself in my practice.

This morning, I got up early for a full Ashtanga Yoga session. When the alarm went off, I was already awake, my head full of thoughts.

Can I do this? I didn’t sleep much. I haven't slept much for over a week. Am I too tired?

OK. I will do what I can do. I will listen to my body and go slowly. I will focus on my breaths and let them guide my practice.

So I am on the mat. I start with my opening mantra. Then Sun Salutation A, Sun Salutation B… focus, focus, focus.

And the 90 minutes went by. I had done all the standing poses and two thirds of the intermediate series. I did backbends. I did drop-back, handstand, headstand…

And now, lying down in Savasana. I remembered that I am actually strong.

Deep down I am a strong person. I just lost the connection with myself and forgot my own nature. I was kidding myself. Caught up in my own drama. Feeling stressed and anxious.

No matter how stressful it is, no matter how much challenge life throws at me—and at times, even when I feel lost and weak—I am strong. I just have the habit of temporarily forgetting that I am.

Is this insight temporary? Will this go tomorrow and I’ll be depressed again? Maybe.

But today, I feel renewed. I feel I can go on and become optimistic.

I am so grateful that I practice Ashtanga yoga.